Transfers: I Hate/Love Them

One of the things that I really hated as a missionary were transfers. Every six weeks in the mission field I would spend an entire Saturday morning waiting for a call to see what was going to happen during the next six weeks of my mission. Would I get a call telling me that I was staying in an area that was struggling? Was my good companion going to be leaving? Was I going to have to get used to a new guy with all kinds of weird habits? Was I going to find out that I was leaving a good area and a good companion to head off to some far off area? Would I need to spend time packing up my suitcases that Saturday night and prepare to hop on a van to my next destination on Monday?

As these questions rushed through my head I would stress out. I just wanted to find out what was going to be happening with my life and whether I would like this change or not. Every time the cellphone rang or we received a text I would ask my companion whether it was the Zone Leaders letting us know what was going on with the upcoming transfer. Most of the time it was only other missionaries in the mission asking us if we knew where we were going yet.

A nervous transfer day in Eugene.

Finally the call would arrive from the Zone Leaders. At times the call came very early in the morning, but usually the call didn't come until sometime in the afternoon. The hours waiting for the call were way too long for me. When the call would finally come my stress didn't usually end, most of the time the stress was made worse as I listened to the news of my future. If I was leaving the area I usually stressed out about having to go learn how to work in a new area. If I was staying and getting a new companion then I started stressing about how I was going to get along with the new guy. The only time I ever felt really happy about a transfer call was when I found out that I was staying with my companion in my area, but that wasn't always so great either.

The next few days after the call were always stressful. Saying good bye to people that I had come to love, packing up my few possessions, and not getting much sleep as I stressed too much. Finally the transfer would come. Nervous and sweaty I would get in the van the mission used for transfers and head off to my next destination. Once in my new home I would spent the next two weeks getting used to all the new things. Finally at the end of the second week my fears would be assuaged and the stress would be mostly gone.

Now transfers did have some perks to them. Sometimes I wanted to get a new companion or head to a new area and a transfer would give me that. If I was getting transferred then I figured that I had completed the job that I had been called to do in the area that I was currently serving in. But the best thing that a transfer could bring was the chance to learn more. Every time I was transferred to a new area or received a new companion I learned something new from my new area or my new companion. From my companion Elder Bradley I learned the value of working hard, from Elder Michelsen I learned how to plan effectively. In Lakeview I learned how to work with people from small towns and in Junction City I learned to treat everyone that I worked with as a Child of God. Even though transfers were hard I learned to appreciate them as times to learn and to grow. 

Saying good bye to some of our friends.

Now at this time in my life I am going through another change, another transfer. As I prepare to go back to school there is the same nervousness that accompanied every transfer on my mission. How will I get along with my roommates? Will things be any better at college than they were at home? Will I make new friends? How will I be able to do all of this? I know that the answers are out there somewhere along with a couple of important lessons to learn about myself. 

Transfers and changes come into all of our lives. Some will be welcomed and others will be downright miserable. But no matter what the change might be we can always learn something. For we cannot learn something new without experiencing something new.

Small Growth

Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.

Alma 37:6

My favorite place in the world is the Grand Canyon. It is a place that I love to visit and hike. I have vivid memories of the many trips I have made to the canyon. From the rims I have seen miles of side canyons and the mighty Colorado. Within the walls of the canyon I have dipped my feet into the water of falls and creeks that run through the desert environment. But the most impressive thing to me was standing on the edge of the Colorado River and staring up at the South Rim and realizing how far down I was, the entire thing was amazing.

On that day when I stood and stared up at the horizon I remembered a principle that I had been taught in every geology class that I had ever taken, that principle was erosion. Erosion is the process of wearing away the landscape by forces of nature such as wind or water. It was through the process of erosion that the Grand Canyon was formed. For millions and millions and millions of years the Colorado River made its course through Northern Arizona and cut through the landscape. As the years passed the river had carried away bits and pieces of the rocks that it flowed through. At first the sediment that was carried away wasn't all that impressive, but as the years went by the Canyon was slowly formed, until it became the most impressive canyon on the planet.

In my life I have had experiences that have changed me dramatically, but those changes have sometimes taken months and even years before I have seen the end result. A lot of those changes have taken place here on my mission. But the interesting thing about most of those changes is that it has taken me a long time to even notice that they have happened. But looking back on where I've come from to where I am now I am better able to put into perspective the changes that have been made in my life. All of those changes have resulted in me being a better person than when I left on my mission.

Me at the beginning of my mission.

For instance when I left on my mission I felt pretty confident about the challenges that laid ahead of me. I had just finished a year of college and felt as if I could handle anything that came at me. Within one week of being at the Missionary Training Center I realized just how wrong I was. I found myself incompetent at studying. Not very observant of those around me. And most importantly I shrunk from social interactions. I honestly felt that there was no way that I could survive a mission at all at that point in my life. If I didn't know the Gospel very well, couldn't listen to people very well, and couldn't even get the courage to talk to people how was I expected to go and be a missionary?

When I got into the mission field none of those things were resolved. I still felt like I was a bad missionary, but I decided to trek onward. So for eight months I trudged through my mission just trying to make it from one day to the next. At the end of each day I would comeback to my apartment and review what had happened that day. Most days felt about the same and at the end of most days I really didn't feel all that different from the way I had felt before.  

The interesting thing to me was that the longer I stayed out on my mission the more I was able to get a better perspective of myself. Though at the end of each day I still felt like the same person and still felt like nothing had changed there was a large change happening inside of me. By the time that I had been out for eight months I wasn't as depressed about my prospects of the mission, I felt confident and I felt like I was finally able to listen to people and help them. Then by the time I hit my yearmark I felt a lot more confident in my knowledge of the Gospel and I felt as if every time I studied something from the Scriptures that I was learning something new and uplifting. Then at around eighteen months I thought back on my mission and realized that I now wasn't too afraid to talk to people anymore. 

All of these changes that have happened to me have been amazing to me. But the most amazing thing about these changes is how they came about. I didn't become a good listener during one lesson, it took many lessons and many times of talking to people. Being confident in my Gospel knowledge didn't come from one major study session in the MTC or one morning on my mission, it came from constant study of the scriptures. Being able to talk to people didn't come from just one conversation, but from many awkward conversations, that eventually weren't as awkward as they had been before. All of these changes had come through time lots of time and lots of practice.

When it comes to seeing changes in our lives the principle is the same as it was for me. Oftentimes we get discouraged when it seems that we are not changing, if we don't have the testimony we want, or aren't the person we want to be. All of those things are understandable, but they shouldn't get us down. Building a testimony and changing into a better person takes time. So let us press forward, let us study the scriptures, let us try every day to be a little bit better and let us all rely on our Savior. Eventually we will be able to look back on our lives and see changes that are just as visible as the Grand Canyon.

Me now.

Far Reaching Effects

When I was preparing to leave on my mission I had many people who told me that there were going to be a lot of changes in my life. Obviously I could see a couple of them such as I would have to wait a few extra years before I could start my career and I would have friends who would be moving on with their lives while I was out. Plus I heard things about gaining a better testimony of the Gospel and that I would probably gain some weight while I was out. So far each one of those things have come true. Some of them have been happy things to hear about such as the fact that I've gained a few pounds. But some of things have been sad too. It's a little sad not to be home to watch my friends grow up. But all of the things that I'm sad about have been outweighed by the positives from my mission. Because while I have been out many more positive things have happened because of my mission.

One of the things that has happened while I've been out is to see how much the Gospel can bless people in their lives. Growing up I had heard plenty of stories from my Dad telling me about his mission. He had some good experiences and I knew that his mission had changed him for the better. But on his mission he didn't ever have the chance to really share the Gospel with people. Most of the people he ever talked with weren't interested in the Gospel. So the entire time he was out he didn't get much of a chance to teach people.

I can remember coming out on my mission and thinking that I wasn't probably ever going to be able to share the Gospel with someone. I figured I would probably spend two years trying to declare what I knew and that I would just hear people say, "Not interested." Now this isn't the typical thinking of new missionaries. Most new missionaries are ready to conquer the world and aren't jaded by the cynicism that I had already. But when I got out I found that people actually were willing to listen the Gospel and that as they listened they began to change. Many of the people I worked with I could see them grow happier as they started to live the ordinances and principles of the Gospel. In many of them I saw a physical change in their countenances as they found the peace and happiness that they had been looking for.

I was pretty happy to see the changes that were happening in people's lives and was glad that I was able to be present to see these changes take place. As I saw these experiences I wanted to share them with my family back at home. Every week I was able to write my family and let them know how I was doing and about the amazing people I was meeting. My Dad loved hearing the stories especially since he was finally starting to see the fruits of his own missionary labors in his son's mission. Fruits that he probably wondered if they would ever be harvested.

But the greatest effect that my mission has had on my life is how it has helped my brother. My brother had heard all my Dad's stories and didn't think that a mission sounded as exciting as some people made it out to be. Now my brother has always wanted t go, but there has always been doubts about serving a mission just like there have always been with me. As I've served though my brother has heard my stories and the things that are happening with me. Because of that he wants to serve a mission. Unlike me he now has little concern about putting his life on two years to serve the Lord.

Now I know that there are many more blessings that will come from my mission that will affect me my friends and my family. I know that my missionary service will affect my future marriage, the kids that I will have, and will be the base of my testimony for many years to come. So I'm excited to continue serving and hope that I can continue to be a good example.

Now the reason that I share all of this isn't to brag about the things I've done, but to illustrate how our small decisions can affect the lives of others. I never knew what serving a mission would do for my life and none of us can imagine what our choices will do to affect our children and our neighbors. For it is "...by small and simple things are great things brought to pass..." (Alma 37:6). Our small decisions have consequences that can help bring about the purposes of the Lord or hinder them. Making good decisions will bless our lives and the lives of everyone else for the better.

Me and my younger brother as kids.

A Change of Perspective

Before my mission the word repentance had always had a negative connotation. When I thought of repentance I was clueless on what it actually meant. My understanding was that as we repented we were forgiven of our sins. But it also seemed to me that I needed to turn myself in whenever I did something bad. It just didn't seem like a pleasant experience to me. Repentance seemed like such an evil word.

But repentance it turns out is not a terrible word that means we are evil. Instead it means a change of heart and forming a fresh view of God. Repentance doesn't mean that we see ourselves as terrible human beings, but that we start to see that we can do much better than we are doing. We see that we are children of a Heavenly Father and that as children of a Heavenly Father we can change. That change comes through repentance.

When I realized that repentance helped me to grow closer to my Heavenly Father that made me a lot happier. But still I was kind of lost because I didn't know how to repent. The main reason being that no one had ever explained to me how to repent other than that I should say I was sorry to God.

But to repent is more than that. To repent we have to acknowledge that we have sinned. We can't pretend that we feel bad or say that we have sinned when we believe that we were in the right. We need to know that we have done is not in line with God's will. For example the Zoramites in the Book of Mormon had forgotten to pray to God always. They had to come to the realization that prayer was a commandment. When we are able to see the wrongs of our ways then we are able to move forward sincerely in the repentance process.

Along with acknowledging we have to be sorry for what we've done. God knows if we are truly sorry and there is no way to fool Him. So we must be sorry and let Him know in humble prayer that we have sinned and that we are asking for His forgiveness. When we can do this then He will provide us with the peace and comfort that we desire.

Now the first part of repentance was the part that scared me. It seemed hard to do and it meant to me that I had been caught doing something I shouldn't have been doing. So I always thought it was better just to mask or to hide those things that I had done wrong. But it's not the right way to do things because repentance doesn't mean that we just pay restitution it also gives us a way to change and become better.

Reading the story of Alma the Younger and the Sons of Mosiah helped me to change my view on repentance. Alma and his friends, the Sons of Mosiah, had been evil men. Together they had tried to lead others away from Christ. Yet they were called to repentance and because of this were able to change their ways. They were able to become great men and true leaders.

As we repent we begin to change our old ways. If we aren't praying we being to pray. If we aren't going to church we start going to church. We fix the problem. We become better people and we start to live up to our potential. We in the end become the person our Father wants us to be.

The road of repentance can seem long and difficult, but the end result is worth it. Let us travel this road and become who we can be. Let us exercise our faith in God and have Him help us to repent of our old ways. I can promise that He will provide a way for us to do that and that He and His Son Jesus Christ will never fail us.