Sunday, July 19, 2015

The Return

It's strange to think that it has been almost five weeks since I came home from my mission in Oregon. For two years my entire life had been dedicated to getting up at six thirty in the morning, studying my scriptures for two hours, and then spending the entire day talking to everyone that I could. Then at the end of that day it was back to my apartment to get some rest so that I could go out and repeat the day over and over. Now I'm not living on that same schedule. Most mornings I wake up at around eight o'clock (which is only a half hour later than waking up at 6:30 in Oregon), studying my scriptures has gone from two hours a day to about half an hour, and instead of teaching random people about the Gospel anymore I spend most of my time talking to my friends.

My family at the airport.

As a missionary I would often hear church members comment about how weird missionaries were when they got home. The members would talk about how these return missionaries didn't know how to interact with people of the opposite sex, couldn't tolerate mainstream music, or acted as if the whole world was weird. As a missionary comments like these seemed strange to me. Even though I was living with rules that seemed pretty "strict" for two years it didn't seem to me that a transition to home would be difficult. I was already socially awkward before I had left on my mission and I figured that when I got home that there was no way that I would be able to be more "weird" than when I left. Life after my mission was not going to be difficult or hard for me.

When I got off of the plane at the Salt Lake International Airport I was excited, I was about to go back to life as it had been before I left on my mission. When I came down the escalator and approached my family I came to see that things were not going to be the same as when I had left. The first couple of weeks after I got home I kept waking up at 6:30 am. This ruined my plan about sleeping in all the time when I got home. I was so tired of getting up early, but now I wasn't able to even sleep past the magical time of 6:30. That was very disappointing to me.

Plus on top of the sleeping in problem I found myself trying to listen to music that I had listened to before my mission. About two songs into an old playlist I found myself skipping through certain songs that I had listened to a lot. I asked myself the question, "Wow how did I listen to this stuff?" Soon I had a list of songs that I was no longer willing to listen to. As a missionary I had never thought that I would have said that about my music. I had been so excited to get home and listen to songs by Kesha and Pitbull. Now they weren't as exciting to me anymore.

Returning home for me has been hard. Finding things to do has been really hard as I've waited for the school year to start. Hugging girls has also been a little awkward for me, because I haven't been allowed to hug girls for the last two years. Certain things that I had found fairly easy to do have become hard for me and I never thought that they would be hard. The stories that I had heard from members were true, post-mission life is awkward.

Even though the transition has been tough I've come to see that the transition is necessary. I can't go out and do all of the things that I did as a missionary anymore. I can't go out knocking on doors, wear a white shirt and tie all the time, or go about not interacting with females anymore. It just can't happen anymore and to be honest I'm glad not to have to deal with those things. 

Of course there are certain things that I miss like all my scripture study. But I know that life has to go on and that the Lord has more things required of me in my life. Things that I can't do as a full-time missionary. Things like getting an education, getting married, having a family, and getting a job. Those are things that I can't do as a missionary. Plus many other things await me in my life and I will have to seek them out as I continue to live my life and strive to put the Gospel first.

Just like the transition to being a missionary was tough going back to normal life will always be hard, but it's alright. The Lord requires hard things from us and those hard things help to build us into what we need to be. Right now I'm starting to see what I can become, but the end is still along way off. But for now I'll be thankful with the hard things I had to do as a missionary and what my mission has already helped me to become.
Me and my Dad after two years.

4 comments:

  1. It's like getting into a cold swimming pool (hey, something else you can do now that you're not a missionary): much easier if you just dive in.

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  2. You've matured. That's the awkward feeling -returning to the old way of life. You are an awesome young man. Enjoy your new adventure in life. Love this post. Keep it up!

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  3. I'm glad you served and grew, but am also glad you're back (and will hopefully continue to grow). Embrace the awkwardness, for some of us it never leaves ;)

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  4. Logan Hicks started singing about you today in Primary....

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