The Return

It's strange to think that it has been almost five weeks since I came home from my mission in Oregon. For two years my entire life had been dedicated to getting up at six thirty in the morning, studying my scriptures for two hours, and then spending the entire day talking to everyone that I could. Then at the end of that day it was back to my apartment to get some rest so that I could go out and repeat the day over and over. Now I'm not living on that same schedule. Most mornings I wake up at around eight o'clock (which is only a half hour later than waking up at 6:30 in Oregon), studying my scriptures has gone from two hours a day to about half an hour, and instead of teaching random people about the Gospel anymore I spend most of my time talking to my friends.

My family at the airport.

As a missionary I would often hear church members comment about how weird missionaries were when they got home. The members would talk about how these return missionaries didn't know how to interact with people of the opposite sex, couldn't tolerate mainstream music, or acted as if the whole world was weird. As a missionary comments like these seemed strange to me. Even though I was living with rules that seemed pretty "strict" for two years it didn't seem to me that a transition to home would be difficult. I was already socially awkward before I had left on my mission and I figured that when I got home that there was no way that I would be able to be more "weird" than when I left. Life after my mission was not going to be difficult or hard for me.

When I got off of the plane at the Salt Lake International Airport I was excited, I was about to go back to life as it had been before I left on my mission. When I came down the escalator and approached my family I came to see that things were not going to be the same as when I had left. The first couple of weeks after I got home I kept waking up at 6:30 am. This ruined my plan about sleeping in all the time when I got home. I was so tired of getting up early, but now I wasn't able to even sleep past the magical time of 6:30. That was very disappointing to me.

Plus on top of the sleeping in problem I found myself trying to listen to music that I had listened to before my mission. About two songs into an old playlist I found myself skipping through certain songs that I had listened to a lot. I asked myself the question, "Wow how did I listen to this stuff?" Soon I had a list of songs that I was no longer willing to listen to. As a missionary I had never thought that I would have said that about my music. I had been so excited to get home and listen to songs by Kesha and Pitbull. Now they weren't as exciting to me anymore.

Returning home for me has been hard. Finding things to do has been really hard as I've waited for the school year to start. Hugging girls has also been a little awkward for me, because I haven't been allowed to hug girls for the last two years. Certain things that I had found fairly easy to do have become hard for me and I never thought that they would be hard. The stories that I had heard from members were true, post-mission life is awkward.

Even though the transition has been tough I've come to see that the transition is necessary. I can't go out and do all of the things that I did as a missionary anymore. I can't go out knocking on doors, wear a white shirt and tie all the time, or go about not interacting with females anymore. It just can't happen anymore and to be honest I'm glad not to have to deal with those things. 

Of course there are certain things that I miss like all my scripture study. But I know that life has to go on and that the Lord has more things required of me in my life. Things that I can't do as a full-time missionary. Things like getting an education, getting married, having a family, and getting a job. Those are things that I can't do as a missionary. Plus many other things await me in my life and I will have to seek them out as I continue to live my life and strive to put the Gospel first.

Just like the transition to being a missionary was tough going back to normal life will always be hard, but it's alright. The Lord requires hard things from us and those hard things help to build us into what we need to be. Right now I'm starting to see what I can become, but the end is still along way off. But for now I'll be thankful with the hard things I had to do as a missionary and what my mission has already helped me to become.

Me and my Dad after two years.

Far Reaching Effects

When I was preparing to leave on my mission I had many people who told me that there were going to be a lot of changes in my life. Obviously I could see a couple of them such as I would have to wait a few extra years before I could start my career and I would have friends who would be moving on with their lives while I was out. Plus I heard things about gaining a better testimony of the Gospel and that I would probably gain some weight while I was out. So far each one of those things have come true. Some of them have been happy things to hear about such as the fact that I've gained a few pounds. But some of things have been sad too. It's a little sad not to be home to watch my friends grow up. But all of the things that I'm sad about have been outweighed by the positives from my mission. Because while I have been out many more positive things have happened because of my mission.

One of the things that has happened while I've been out is to see how much the Gospel can bless people in their lives. Growing up I had heard plenty of stories from my Dad telling me about his mission. He had some good experiences and I knew that his mission had changed him for the better. But on his mission he didn't ever have the chance to really share the Gospel with people. Most of the people he ever talked with weren't interested in the Gospel. So the entire time he was out he didn't get much of a chance to teach people.

I can remember coming out on my mission and thinking that I wasn't probably ever going to be able to share the Gospel with someone. I figured I would probably spend two years trying to declare what I knew and that I would just hear people say, "Not interested." Now this isn't the typical thinking of new missionaries. Most new missionaries are ready to conquer the world and aren't jaded by the cynicism that I had already. But when I got out I found that people actually were willing to listen the Gospel and that as they listened they began to change. Many of the people I worked with I could see them grow happier as they started to live the ordinances and principles of the Gospel. In many of them I saw a physical change in their countenances as they found the peace and happiness that they had been looking for.

I was pretty happy to see the changes that were happening in people's lives and was glad that I was able to be present to see these changes take place. As I saw these experiences I wanted to share them with my family back at home. Every week I was able to write my family and let them know how I was doing and about the amazing people I was meeting. My Dad loved hearing the stories especially since he was finally starting to see the fruits of his own missionary labors in his son's mission. Fruits that he probably wondered if they would ever be harvested.

But the greatest effect that my mission has had on my life is how it has helped my brother. My brother had heard all my Dad's stories and didn't think that a mission sounded as exciting as some people made it out to be. Now my brother has always wanted t go, but there has always been doubts about serving a mission just like there have always been with me. As I've served though my brother has heard my stories and the things that are happening with me. Because of that he wants to serve a mission. Unlike me he now has little concern about putting his life on two years to serve the Lord.

Now I know that there are many more blessings that will come from my mission that will affect me my friends and my family. I know that my missionary service will affect my future marriage, the kids that I will have, and will be the base of my testimony for many years to come. So I'm excited to continue serving and hope that I can continue to be a good example.

Now the reason that I share all of this isn't to brag about the things I've done, but to illustrate how our small decisions can affect the lives of others. I never knew what serving a mission would do for my life and none of us can imagine what our choices will do to affect our children and our neighbors. For it is "...by small and simple things are great things brought to pass..." (Alma 37:6). Our small decisions have consequences that can help bring about the purposes of the Lord or hinder them. Making good decisions will bless our lives and the lives of everyone else for the better.

Me and my younger brother as kids.

Wornout Shoes

While growing up I went through a lot of shoes. I would put a lot of wear and tear on shoes just because of how much I moved. Plus on top of that I grew a lot which meant I could never wear any pair of shoes for an extended period of time.

I can remember these times pretty well. Every month it seemed like I was getting another pair of shoes to wear. As a child I never thought too much about how many pairs I went through. It was unimportant to me because all I really cared about was running until I dropped.

To my parents the shoes were a pretty big deal. They knew how much good shoes cost. They also had a mortgage to pay, gas to buy, and had four mouths to feed off of the salary of a middle school English teacher. My mom and my dad were often under a lot of stress. How could they realistically afford to keep buying new shoes for me and my younger brother who were growing up so fast?

Yet during these times my parents were always able to get me new shoes to wear. My mom can remember taking me and my brother to a local thrift store to look for shoes. Every time we went there was always a pair of shoes that fit me or my brother and had been lightly worn.My mother always rejoiced over this miracle while I just figured that this store just always had a good selection of shoes.

It wasn't until much later in my life that my mom told me why it was so amazing to find good shoes at the thrift store. That store had a very limited selection and the shoes that were there usually were in bad condition. So it was an absolute miracle that every time I needed a new pair of shoes that there was always a good new pair of shoes that just happened to fit me perfectly.

When my mom told this I could see that indeed it was a miracle about the shoes. But there was a reason why the miracle happened. Every month when my dad's paycheck came in my parents would take out ten percent for tithing to pay to the Lord. This ten percent could have easily covered the cost of new shoes and a few other things. But my parents always made sure that the tithing was paid.

My parents knew that if their tithing was given to the Lord every month that they would be taken care of. They had read in Malachi Chapter 3 verse 10:

Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pout you out a blessings, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

So every month this sacrifice was made and my parents have never regretted paying tithing as they have truly received great blessings from the Lord.

Because of my parents' example I have come to know the value of sacrifice. Any sacrifice we are commanded to make to the Lord will lead to blessings and none of us can live without those blessings.

To learn more about the blessings of paying tithing checkout this talk by Elder Bednar.https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/the-windows-of-heaven?lang=eng