The Return

It's strange to think that it has been almost five weeks since I came home from my mission in Oregon. For two years my entire life had been dedicated to getting up at six thirty in the morning, studying my scriptures for two hours, and then spending the entire day talking to everyone that I could. Then at the end of that day it was back to my apartment to get some rest so that I could go out and repeat the day over and over. Now I'm not living on that same schedule. Most mornings I wake up at around eight o'clock (which is only a half hour later than waking up at 6:30 in Oregon), studying my scriptures has gone from two hours a day to about half an hour, and instead of teaching random people about the Gospel anymore I spend most of my time talking to my friends.

My family at the airport.

As a missionary I would often hear church members comment about how weird missionaries were when they got home. The members would talk about how these return missionaries didn't know how to interact with people of the opposite sex, couldn't tolerate mainstream music, or acted as if the whole world was weird. As a missionary comments like these seemed strange to me. Even though I was living with rules that seemed pretty "strict" for two years it didn't seem to me that a transition to home would be difficult. I was already socially awkward before I had left on my mission and I figured that when I got home that there was no way that I would be able to be more "weird" than when I left. Life after my mission was not going to be difficult or hard for me.

When I got off of the plane at the Salt Lake International Airport I was excited, I was about to go back to life as it had been before I left on my mission. When I came down the escalator and approached my family I came to see that things were not going to be the same as when I had left. The first couple of weeks after I got home I kept waking up at 6:30 am. This ruined my plan about sleeping in all the time when I got home. I was so tired of getting up early, but now I wasn't able to even sleep past the magical time of 6:30. That was very disappointing to me.

Plus on top of the sleeping in problem I found myself trying to listen to music that I had listened to before my mission. About two songs into an old playlist I found myself skipping through certain songs that I had listened to a lot. I asked myself the question, "Wow how did I listen to this stuff?" Soon I had a list of songs that I was no longer willing to listen to. As a missionary I had never thought that I would have said that about my music. I had been so excited to get home and listen to songs by Kesha and Pitbull. Now they weren't as exciting to me anymore.

Returning home for me has been hard. Finding things to do has been really hard as I've waited for the school year to start. Hugging girls has also been a little awkward for me, because I haven't been allowed to hug girls for the last two years. Certain things that I had found fairly easy to do have become hard for me and I never thought that they would be hard. The stories that I had heard from members were true, post-mission life is awkward.

Even though the transition has been tough I've come to see that the transition is necessary. I can't go out and do all of the things that I did as a missionary anymore. I can't go out knocking on doors, wear a white shirt and tie all the time, or go about not interacting with females anymore. It just can't happen anymore and to be honest I'm glad not to have to deal with those things. 

Of course there are certain things that I miss like all my scripture study. But I know that life has to go on and that the Lord has more things required of me in my life. Things that I can't do as a full-time missionary. Things like getting an education, getting married, having a family, and getting a job. Those are things that I can't do as a missionary. Plus many other things await me in my life and I will have to seek them out as I continue to live my life and strive to put the Gospel first.

Just like the transition to being a missionary was tough going back to normal life will always be hard, but it's alright. The Lord requires hard things from us and those hard things help to build us into what we need to be. Right now I'm starting to see what I can become, but the end is still along way off. But for now I'll be thankful with the hard things I had to do as a missionary and what my mission has already helped me to become.

Me and my Dad after two years.

A Mission Blesses

Two years ago an announcement was made by the Lord's Prophet and Apostles here on earth. That announcement was that young men could leave on missions at the age of eighteen and young women at the age of nineteen. Previously a boy had to be nineteen and a girl had to be twenty-one. This was a huge change and has since let over eighty-thousand young Latter-Day Saints leave their homes to serve God. This force of missionaries is here to help spread the Gospel to all the world and to hasten the Lord's work.

Missions have a further purpose than just helping spread the Gospel though. They help to turn missionaries from kids into confident mature adults. This world is a world set on satisfying the needs of the individual. In this world all concerns for others are ignored as people focus only on themselves. For two years though a missionary forgets his own needs and looks outward. A missionary seeks to share the Gospel with random people he has never met. In return there is no monetary gifts or a leadership position in the Church. There is only the reward of knowing that he has tried to help someone return to live with their Heavenly Father.

The happiness that this missionary feels helps him to see that truthfulness of when Christ says:

For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it.

Mark 8:35

No Greater happiness can be found in life than when we serve those around us. Because when we serve others we only serve God. (Mosiah 2:17)

Another way that missionaries grow during their eighteen months to two years of service is that they learn the importance of work. Missionary life isn't easy at all. From six-thirty in the morning to ten-thirty at night a missionary is working to spread the Gospel. A missionary has to make sure that during all that time he is working. As a missionary works hard he sees blessings come into his life. He finds peace that He is doing God's will. He will see miracles happen in his life and in the lives of those around him. Most importantly he will learn to love those he comes in contact with.

The work that a missionary does on his mission helps him to develop an attitude of hard work. An attitude that he will take home with him. This attitude will help a missionary to thrive at work. To earn the respect of his coworkers. It will also help him to work hard for his family and to love his family even more.

The blessings of a mission are incredible. I have seen myself become a hard worker throughout my mission. I have also gained confidence in what I do and what I say. I have also come to love those around me no matter who they are or what they do. But the greatest blessing I've received out here is a stronger testimony. When I came out I had a very weak testimony. I believed in God, but not much else. As I've served I've gained a testimony of the divine mission of Jesus Christ. I've come to know that God's is on the earth today and it is only in this Church that the priesthood authority of God rests, and that through this priesthood I can live with my family for forever.

My mission has been the greatest experience that I have had so far in my life and I know that it is one of the greatest experiences I or anyone can have. A mission can be hard at times, it can even be boring, but the growth that comes from a mission shouldn't be traded for anything. Jobs can wait, school can wait, and even girlfriends can too. I know this because I've those things up for two years.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

3 Nephi 13:33

Growing Pains In Lakeview

It has now been a very long since I served as a missionary in the small town of Lakeview. It seems though as if it was only a few weeks ago that me and my companion were walking the streets of the "tallest town" in Oregon. Those were fun times. Times at which I exuded confidence every pore, times when I wasn't too sure of myself, and times where I knew serving a mission was the greatest thing for my life. There was a lot of growing that I did in Lakeview.

When I arrived in Lakeview I was fresh out of Utah. A kid who was only nineteen years old, who was so shy that I had been known in college to drop classes just to avoid people. I was not too sure of myself. Plus on top of that I was in a town of 2,500 people that was two hours away from the closest city. As absurd as it seems this little town in the middle of nowhere intimidated me to no end.

I can remember those first few weeks in Lakeview being tough. I tried my hardest to figure out just what I was doing as a missionary.Talking to people did not come easily for me. To make things worse people were polite, but "not interested". I often wondered why was I out on a mission? Why hadn't I waited until I was more mature and sure of myself to come out and tackle such a great work? I wanted to go back to my home in Utah so bad. But I decided to push on trusting that things would get better for me.

As it turned out things did start to get better. Everyday I prayed for help to overcome my weaknesses as a missionary, I studied my scriptures, and then I went out and worked. At first I noticed no improvement and so I was frustrated with what seemed to be my ineptitude to get better. I was still lousy at everything that I was doing. But the more the weeks progressed the more I began to see changes. Now these changes I was experiencing were really small. So small that I didn't see them come. So small that if I hadn't looked back on the first few days of my mission I would not have able to see any difference.

Some of these small changes that I saw were that I didn't fumble around with my words as much. I had the courage to knock on a door even if I was afraid to do so. I had just a little more confidence in everything I did. All of this happened within the first few weeks of my mission.These changes were an absolute miracle for me. For nineteen years I had been trying to grow up. To see some kind of change in my life that would let me know that I was finally maturing and becoming a new person. Finally in Lakeview I was starting to see real growth.

The secret to this growth as I found out was the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Because of Christ's suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane and upon the cross I am able to change. He suffered all things, He felt all things. My sorrows and my griefs are included in everything that He felt. Because He felt all of those things He has perfect empathy and knows how to help and strengthen me. In return all He asks me to do is believe in Him, to go to church, to read my scriptures, be baptized, and continue to be a good person. It isn't much that He asks for and in return I have received strength and maturity.

Ever since I took my first few steps in Lakeview towards growing I have continued to grow and I've grown a lot. That growth has been in small steps, but I wouldn't have been able to make those steps if it wasn't for my Savior Jesus Christ and the time I spent in Lakeview. I know that anyone can change through Christ that through His Atonement people can grow and become better. Come unto Christ by keeping the commandments and being baptized. Be strengthened by Him. " For [His] yoke is easy and [His] burden is light." (Matthew 11:30)

Lakeview from above.

Letters From Home

As a missionary I have come to love mail. Before I left home I had always that getting a paper letter wasn't very exciting. If I did receive a letter in the mail I always wondered why hadn't the sender just sent me a text message, a message on Facebook, or at least an email? I mean they had so many options and they chose the slowest way to get a message to me. A method that sometimes took days if not weeks to get to me.

Now though I have developed a deep appreciation for paper letters. Because as a missionary I don't have the option to text my friends or my family. I get the chance once a week to write them and to email and I don't really know on which day I might receive a response back from them. So now whenever I get anything from my family I am super excited.

Out here on my mission I have developed this ritual that whenever mail arrives at our apartment I rush to the mailbox, with my companion of course, to see if I have any mail. Some days there isn't anything, but whenever there is a letter or a package for me I am always super excited. These letters meant to me that someone at home did care about me and wanted to know how I am doing. These letters have become a treasure that I keep with me at all times and whenever I need advice or just kind words I turn to these letters.

The receiving of these letters every week or so has brought a blessing into my life that I had never considered before. The letters helped me to see how vitally important the scriptures are to me.

Before my mission when I would pray to God I always did it with the hope that I would receive an immediate answer. I would ask a question and just sit at the foot of my bed hoping for a heavenly messenger or at least some kind of feeling. No messengers ever showed up, but I did get a few impressions, but not usually. I often wondered why I wasn't getting a fast response like I might get when texting a friend.

It wasn't until I got on my mission and I would have to wait for days to get a letter that I realized one of the ways that our Heavenly Father answers our prayers is through the scriptures. I realized that the scriptures are like God's letters to us here on this earth. They weren't received all at once and they do take time to read and to ponder. But when we take time to look through them we are able to find answers to the questions we have or find that peace and comfort that we are looking for.

So now whenever I have a question that I need help with I ask God in humble prayer and then I go and read and see if I can find my answer. I have found multiple times as I have read from the Bible and the Book of Mormon that my answer is contained within the pages of these sacred writings. This searching has brought me to a new understanding of God's love for us.

I encourage all to read the scriptures and to find the answers that they are looking for. They can be found as you read these sacred texts and see what God has provided for us. I promise that no time spent reading the scriptures is wasted.